What to say, what to say... hmmm.

Today I waxed my kitchen floor.

Aren't you excited? I'll take this time to remind you that YOU wanted me to blog.

Where was I?

I tried to do it yesterday but then The Man called and needed me to file some papers for him at work because some head office guy was coming down and the office was messy. Cool!

So when The Girl got home from school I told her she had a babysitting job and SHE WOULD BE PAID !woot woot! So we went over how to cook the macaroni for supper, and that the computer was off-limits because she had The Boy and Whiskey to watch (the DOG people, THE DOG!). Then I told The Boy that I was going to work. And he gave me the most confused look ever. I wish I had a video of it, it was that comical. Then he gave me a hug, which I never get unless I ask, and he made me go like "Awwwww".

Then I left.

And I blasted the radio on an awesome station on my way to the jobsite (after I turned off the ♪ I clap my hands like this *clap*clap*clap* I clap my hands like that *clap*clap* ♪ song) and went to 'work' with some real adults. Man, has it been a long time. In all it took us 3 hours of filing and some work to take home and we were done. Blessed employment, too bad I'm a volunteer.

So then I waxed the floor today. And the stuff smelled pretty, like fruity almost. Weird, very weird, and I felt bad for Whiskey (the DOG people, THE DOG!) that she had to stay home in her crate while the floor all around her dried, and then I thought hey, maybe that sweet fruity smell is actually the coverup for some serious mindbending drug-like hallucinations that are about to begin and damn that dog why can't I be in the crate!

Maybe the hallucinations had already started. Somedays it's hard to tell.

I came home later to check out the beauty of my waxed floor. Opened the door and was confronted with a triangle that EVADED WAX! Unacceptable and unbelievable! I made plans to fix that spot once The Boy had gone down for his nap, and then tragedy struck. The Boy dumped his entire glass of OJ on the floor during his lunch. The whole glass! Which he usually guards with his life like it's some sort of liquid ecstasy! Un-frigging-believable. At least the floor was freshly waxed and it was easy to clean up.

And the house still smells a little fruity, but the crate smells a little like Whiskey (the DOG people, THE DOG!)

And she keeps growling at me.

Maybe she's still hallucinating.

Or maybe she wants me to get out of her crate.

Losin' my blogging cherry

So last night, or early this morning depending on how you want to look at it... I had the most awesomest idea for my very first blog post EVAR!

Then I thought to myself, Self you should go write this down! 'Cause you know, Self, the odds on remembering this moment when the sun decides to show up are slim to none! And then I said to Self, (and I probably DID say it rather than think it, because did I mention it was 4:15am and I hadn't slept at all because The Boy had been complaining, moaning and whimpering all freaking night resisting all of my techniques for comforting him rathering instead to continue complaining, moaning and whimpering while tossing and turning and wanting to be held no put me down I don't want to be held with a smattering of loud wailing and complete silence fooling me into thinking that he had finally settled and fallen asleep only to begin said complaining, moaning and whimpering until finally at 4am he dropped a duece in his Huggies and immediately succumbed to the sleep that had been screaming his name since 8pm and then I had to wake him up and change that nastiness at 4:05am to finally tuck him snugly in his bed at 4:10am and return to my own bed to find a wet spot AND NOT THE GOOD KIND where The Boy had kindly slobbered and drooled and cried whilst I tried the beforementioned comforting techniques so I had to grab a towel and make do with some colourful cursing thrown in for good measure until I finally pulled the sheets up and tried to tune out the *ahem* gentle <--snicker snicker<-- throat rattle of The Man and shoot eye daggers at the clock that was announcing that it was OhEmGee 4:15am and !!POUF!! a mindblowingly brilliant first blog post entered that shady area called my brain and I knew it was FATE... and I said to Self, "Nah, I'll remember it! No worries! It is that.totally.awesome."










I didn't. And you got this. Suckers.