Zumbaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Last Friday I went to a Zumba Master class. Don't ask me what that means, all I know is there was a guy up onstage and my instructor Christal was doing the class along with us. And it was brutal!!! Jaime (pronounce HI-ME, you know, with that ghhh ghhh ghhh gutteral empahsis on the HI part) came down from Ottawa to lead us in some Rah Rah- Move Your A$$- Don't forget to SMILE kinda excerdance stuff.

Have you ever heard of "butterface"? Here, I'll use it in a sentence.

That chick was smokin'! Everywhere butterface!

Get it? But her face?!?! K. Now that I've explained it, HI-ME was smokin' hot. He moved like he came dancing out of his mothers womb. He wore different hats for different songs (cheesy but he looked good in every.single.one), and could shake his a$$ and give Shakira a run for her money. Oh yes, HI-ME was easy on the eyes............. butupclose.

Bwahahahaha! Oh, I'm so bad! Seriously though! I came a couple minutes late because I wasn't really sure where the highschool was that we were having the class in, and therefore got a spot at the very back of the room. Aww, too bad, NOT. At least then there's no one behind me to giggle and point. Except those 2 highschool boys in the sound booth. And I'm pretty sure when I glanced back at them they were busy with kleenex mopping up their BLEEDING EYES. LOL.

So from my position, HI-ME was a little lucious. Okay, more than a little lucious. Did I mention that HI-ME was some sort of exotic flavour too? Yup. Not sure where he originally hails from, but it's certainly not somewhere BORING like South Western Ontario. Annnnnyways, about halfway through the class HI-ME and Christal split the group into two opposing teams in an a$$ shake off, and he finally came within 100 feet of me. And I was SO.DISAPPOINTED. Ugh. It still makes me frown.

But props to the guy because he had every.single.one.of.us panting and holding our heads between our knees by the end of the class. I felt it for 3 days after and I can only hope in the new year that Christal ups the intensity of her class to match his. Because then I'll love her and hate her all in the same breath. And I'll feel like I got my money's worth.

On an entirely separate note, I'm going to be making a trip to the homeland this weekend! Woot! Woot! The Man has to work all weekend, and attend a work site party (poor baby *insert eye roll here*) and both extended family dinners are being held this weekend, so I'm gonna trek it out myself with The Boy, The Girl and Whiskey (the DOG people, THE DOG!). So I hope you're all as excited as I am. For moving as far away as we did, I think I still have yet to miss a major family get together, LOL. But when shipping the gifts home this week costs almost as much as gas in the van to drive it, I'd rather get some family time with it.

Ciao!

Someone hand me the spork...

I may have to gouge my eyes out. Only because I think that would be considerably less painful than other procedures one could perform with a spork. Or maybe not... but hey! the eyes are readily available. And it makes for a nice mental picture.

Some things make me ponder what goes through other people's minds. Forgive me for being vague, but I'm gonna be. Oy.

Annnnnnnnnnyways, I was going to post for hump day this week, but I'm late... late for hump day!!! Geesh.

I feel like humping things anyways, so here it goes.

Hump M&M's. I had a brief love affair with you a couple of weeks ago. It was intense, mindblowingly breathtaking... it was HAWT. I cut you loose and haven't looked back, but when I saw your picture in the Food Basics flyer for $2.49 this week... twofreakingfortynine... OH EM GEE... I had to catch my breath. So help me, I won't look into your eyes until this flyer is no longer applicable.

Hump Christmas cards. My hand is cramped, my brain is fried, and I think I may be feeling just a teensy bit queasy at all the nice writing that I had to do this week.

Hump the library lady who thought I was the most AWESOMEST mom eva for hooking my kid up with a laptop and headphones and a Mighty Machines dvd while I printed some stuff at the library this afternoon. And she wasn't being facetious. She really thought I was cool. And for once, someone in this world thought 'man, I wish she was MY mom!'

Hump those two frigging dogs of my neighbours. The ones that keep trying to dig their way under my fence to canoodle with Whiskey (the dog people, the DOG!). And her recall SUCKS when this happens, I can stand at the patio door hollering "Whiskey!!! Whiskey!!! Come!!! " for 15 minutes and that dog would act like she was 90 with no hearing aids. Dick. And then my neighbours look at me funny. Or funnier, depending on how many times this has happened in a day. Dicks.

Hump my four readers. Okay, so there's only three of you, but I'll just randomly hope that some poor pitiful person has stumbled across my blog and is entranced by my wit and charm and checks everyday in the hopes that theres something new and clever to read.

Hump people that are going to send me to therapy. Seriously. I hump you.